FOX’S FAMOUS CHOWDER

Ingredients:

Surf clams One large can juice and all (Smart and Final)
bacon 2 pounds cut to 1/4 “
butter 1/4 pound
potatoes ~3 medium, diced into 1/2" cubes, skin and all! Wash them good fool!
celery ~1/4 stalk cut into slices (cube large slices to ~1/4")
onions 1-2 large sweet onions. Leeks are a good substitute/addition, just dice
black pepper to taste (a lot)
shallots 1 bunch sliced/choped
beer 1 bottle (preferably Miller's draft or Modelo)
wine, whisky, gin 1 bottle of either

Method

In the privacy of your home drink the wine, whisky, or gin before you begin. Probably best not to drink the whole bottle. In a large pot, my Ecuadorian kettle for example, slowly brown the bacon until crisp. Remove the bacon and set aside. De-glaze the pan with the bottle of beer, remove the bottle and discard. Then add the potato cubes to the fat and add the butter. Slowly cook the potatoes until they begin to soften and clear. If you don't cook the potatoes slowly, you will burn the butter, this is a no no and will ruin the chowder. If this happens fool, then start over because I won't take responsibility for the chowder and you will ruin my good name! Into this add the celery and onions. Cook these until the onions begin to clear, no longer! The celery will be done at the same time! If you use leeks add them now. Simmer the brew for a few minutes and add the 1/2 & 1/2. Add the shallots now, as well as the bacon. When the brew comes to a boil add the clams, juice and all. Serve immediately or the clams will get as tough as your ass hole--------if you bugger this I will hunt you down!

Variations that I have used is to add some oregano. If the chowder is not thick enough for you, then mix some potato flour (1/2 cup) into ~1 cup of milk, and stir this into mix just before adding the clams. Mix the flour and milk with vigorous shaking or a blender, you don't want any lumps fool!

Don't add any salt because the bacon will be enough! If you want to add some tomatoes, corn, broccoli, or any other shit, I will not take responsibility, further I will hunt you down.

This should serve a good sized group, assuming they have a decent appreciation of superb chowder. Great with any alcoholic beverage, the more alcohol the better the chowder.

Regards---------the FOX

FOX’S FAMOUS CHOWDER
"mormon modified"

Ingredients:

Surf clams One large can clams, juice and all (Smart and Final)
butter 1/4 pound
potatoes ~3 medium, diced into 1/2" cubes, skin and all! Wash them good fool!
celery ~1/4 stalk cut into slices (cube large slices to ~1/4")
onions 1-2 large sweet onions. Leeks are a good substitute/addition, just dice them
pepper To taste (a lot)
bacon 2 pounds cut the slab into 1/4" slices
1/2 & 1/2 2 quarts
shallots 1 bunch
beer 1 bottle (preferably Miller's draft or Model )

Method

In a large pot, my Ecuadorian kettle for example, slowly brown the bacon to a crisp. Remove the bacon and set aside. De-glaze the pan with the bottle of beer, remove the bottle and discard. Then add the potato cubes to the fat add the butter. Slowly cook the potatoes until they begin to soften and clear. If you don't cook the potatoes slowly you will burn the butter, this is a no no and will ruin the chowder. If this happens fool, then start over because I won't take responsibility for the chowder and you will ruin my good name! Into this add the celery and onions. Cook these until the onions begin to clear, no longer! The celery will be done at the same time! If you use leeks add them now. Simmer the brew for a few minutes and add the 1/2 & 1/2. Add the shallots now, as well as the bacon. When the brew comes to a boil add the clams, juice and all. Serve immediately or the clams will get as tough as your heal--------if you bugger this I will hunt you down!

Variations that I have used is to add some oregano. If the chowder is not thick enough for you, then mix some potato flour (1/2 cup) into ~1 cup of milk, and stir this into mix just before adding the clams. Mix the flour and milk with vigorous shaking or a blender, you don't want any lumps fool!

Don't add any salt because the bacon will be enough! If you want to add some tomatoes, corn, broccoli, or any other shit, I will not take responsibility, further I will hunt you down.

This should serve a good sized group, assuming they have a decent appreciation of superb chowder.

Regards---------the FOX